Monday, December 04, 2006

My Musical "My Fair Human"

So, with inspiration from the Pappy and Turbo songs, I decided that I will work on my own version of of My Fair Lady.

Thre are so many parts of that musical that apply to our lives as dogs, so I will be working on new lyrics to my musical called My Fair Human.

I'm not sure on casting yet, but I have worked on the lyrics to one of the songs. I will likely cast my dad in the role of Eliza Doolittle, because even though he's a male human, he is most exasperating.

Song: Hymn to Dogs (Taken from the song Hymn to Him)

HIGGINS

What in all of heaven could've prompted him to go,
After such a triumph as the mall?
What could've depressed him;
What could've possessed him?
I cannot understand the wretch at all.
Humans are irrational, that's all there is to that!
Their heads are full of rawhide, hay, and ropes!
They're nothing but exasperating, irritating,
vacillating, calculating, agitating,
Maddening and infuriating dopes!

[To Pickering]
Pickering, why can't a human be more like a dog?

PICKERING
Hmm?

HIGGINS
Yes... Why can't a human be more like a dog?
Dogs are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historic'ly fair;
Who, when you win, will always give your cheek a lick.
Well, why can't a human take the hint?
Why does ev'ryone do what the others do?
Can't a human learn to use its head?
Why do they do ev'rything their parents do?
Why don't they grow up- well, like their pets instead?
Why can't a human take after a dog?
Dogs are so pleasant, so easy to please;
Whenever you are with them, you're always at ease.
Would you be slighted if I didn't bark for hours?

PICKERING
Of course not!

HIGGINS
Would you be livid if I had a peed on a tree or two?

PICKERING
Nonsense.

HIGGINS
Would you be wounded if I never gave you facelicks?

PICKERING
Never.

HIGGINS
Well, why can't a human be like you?
One dog in a million may howl a bit.
Now and then there's one with slight defects;
One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit.
But by and large we are marvelous pets!
Why can't a human take after a dog?
Cause dogs are so friendly, good natured and kind.
A better companion you never will find.
If I were eating treats for dinner, would you bellow?

PICKERING
Of course not!

HIGGINS
If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?

PICKERING
Nonsense.

HIGGINS
Would you complain if I sniffed at other dogs?

PICKERING
Never.

HIGGINS
Well, why can't a human be like us?

[To Mrs. Pearce]
Mrs. Pearce, you're a human...
Why can't a human be more like a dog?
Dogs are so decent, such regular breeds.
Ready to help you with any needs.
Ready to lick your face whenever you are glum.
Why can't a human be a chum?
Why is thinking something humans never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Straight'ning their clothes is all they ever do.
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside?
Why can't a human behave like a dog?
If I was a human who'd been to a mall,
Been hailed as an owner by one and by all;
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?
And carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?
Why can't a human be like me?

So that's the first song I've completed. Granted it's a rough draft and subject to change.

Other Songs would be:
I'm an Ordinary Dog
Just You Wait
I Could Have Howled All Night
Get Me To The Dog Park On Time

Not sure when I will next get to working on this again, but thought you all should know what's in the pipeline.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Excellent rendition of one of my faves!

Bussie Kissies
Buster

Tin Tin Blogdog said...

Dog-dang nice improvement on Lerner and Loewe's human attempt.

Chow for now,

Tin Tin xo

hana said...

Bravo! Bravo, Ender, Bravo! You are quite the poet.

Anonymous said...

WOW! How lovely! You just let me know if you need me to accompany on the piano, Ender!

Opy - the Original GruffPuppy said...

A big round of applause fro Ender - truly magnificent :-)

Love
Opy

hana said...

Hi Ender, I just sent your mom an email with a present attached. Hope you like it!

BLU and Comet said...

Encore Ender! What a talented pup you are! We loved it.
Comet and BLU

ps
We tagged you for this Christmas thing, check out our blog for the rules!!

Casper said...

I like your version better ;)